18. The Sticks and Stones
“I got called the g word,” sobbed
a third-grade girl.
“OK. Let’s calm down,” I said, kneeling beside her. “Now, exactly what were you called?”
Between sobs she blurted,
California
19. It Doesn’t Add Up
When one girl had finished the
English portion of the state exam, she removed her glasses and started the math questions.
“Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?” she was asked.
She responded, “My glasses are
for reading, not math.”
—Kathy Olson,
20. The Fluent in English
Our assistant principal called in
one of my under performing Intro
to Spanish pupils to ask why he was having trouble with the subject.
“I don’t know. I just don’t understand Ms. Amar the boy said. “It’s like she’s speaking another language.”
Marcia Amar, Indiana, Pennsylvania
21. The Here’s to the Parents
The fish tank in my classroom
was brimming with guppies. So
I told the kids they could have some as long as they brought in
a note from home. That’s how I
received the following: “Dear Mrs. Swanson, Would you please give Johnny as many guppies as you can spear, as we are going to bread them.”
Billings, Montana
22. Parents Teacher
During a parent-teacher
conference, a mother insisted
I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper
for calling her subject Henry 8
instead of Henry VIII.
“We have only regular numbers on our keyboard,” she explained. “No Roman numerals.”
Georgia
23. A note from a student’s mother:
“Please excuse Chris from reading, because he doesn’t like it.”
—Roy Hartley, Elberton, Georgia
24. When her child’s towel was
stolen during a school swimming trip, an irate parent demanded
of my mother,
“What kind of
juvenile delinquents are in class with my child?!”
“I’m sure it was taken accidentally,” said Mom. “What does it look like?”
“It’s white,” said the parent. “And it says Holiday Inn on it.”
St. Louis, Missouri
These Students Have All the Answers
25. Scene: History class.
Question: Name a famous
explorer.
Answer: Dora.
Red Lion, Pennsylvania
Scene: Science class.
26. Question:
Why would we not
see meteors if Earth had no
atmosphere?
Answer: Because we’d all be dead. Hubert Snyder,
—Grand Junction, Colorado
Scene: Second-grade class.
27. Question: How can we show
respect to others?
Answer: If you have a piece of meat, you shouldn’t give it to anyone else if you’ve already licked it.
Scene: Social studies class.
28. Question: What does right to
privacy mean?
Answer: It’s the right to be alone in the bathroom.
Colorado Springs, Colorado
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